Sunday, May 27, 2012

Wedding Dress Shopping

The next big planning event on the list is my dress shopping.  I have very mixed feelings about this.  As time goes on since we have been engaged, I am getting more and more anxious and excited to go dress shopping.  That being said, I am also really nervous about it.  I will be IN a wedding dress...the only wedding dress I've ever had on is my mom's (and that's not gonna make the cut, sorry mom).  Putting on a dress will make this all so much more real.  In all of my "visions" of my wedding day the strangest thing is that I have never, ever been able to see myself or a dress in them.  I envision the colors and the sites, what I'd want for decor and cake, but I have never been able to put myself in the bridal shoes.  {This has always puzzled/worried me a bit, to be honest.  Like maybe I am not seeing it because I am not supposed to be in that role...}  I think the first store we go to for dress shopping will be in for a emotional bride-to-be!


The other challenge with dress shopping is the where.  I absolutely want my (twin) sister and my mom there - and no one else!  I want the dress to be a surprise for everyone...  The problem with that is that I live in VA and they both live in WI.  So, would it be easier for me (one person) to fly home to shop then either have a dress shipped here for alteration or find it there and order it here?  Or should they (two people) come here so we can shop, order, and have alterations at one store?  Another thought we had was cost.  Things out here have been trending more expensive, so would it be worth my trip to WI to shop and save money?  We decided to call a boutique in WI and in VA and ask the cost of one particular dress, to see if there was a difference in price quote.  There was a difference - $100, cheaper in WI.  That, to me, was not a significant difference, especially when you consider shipping costs.  So, what to do?  I thought about it for a few days and, honestly, was only considering going to WI to make it easier and cheaper for my family.  I decided that this was an important enough decision and part of the wedding that I need to do what I think will be best and easiest for me.  That ended up being shopping here in VA so that when I find my dress, I have a relationship with the staff at the store and, hopefully, I'll get better service.  I can't imagine how irritated the store would have been had I purchased a dress elsewhere and just brought it in for alterations!


So now, what style do I want?!  I think I have an idea, but I want to keep an open mind.  I've watched too much Say Yes to the Dress to go in with one idea.  They always put a girl in a style that she was sure wasn't for her and then - bam! tears and "the feeling".  Below are a few dresses I think are GORGEOUS!  Not sure of the cost, or if I really want any for me, but enjoy!


Alfred Angelo



Mori Lee - Most of my favorites from online shopping have been Mori Lee



David's Bridal  has some pretty dresses...and they are more affordable, but does the quality reflect that?


Not sure of the designer of this one...found it on Google...



Ok, after searching for a few pics to share, I'm really excited to dress shop!  July 10th - 13th (when my family will be out here for shopping) can't come soon enough!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Learning to be Gracious

James and I had the pleasure of hosting an engagement/housewarming party for our family and friends here in Williamsburg last night.  It was a GREAT party!  Over 25 of our family and friends celebrated with us.  We ate and drank the night away (until almost 3am!).  The only thing that would have been better is if my family and friends from WI could have been here too.  One thing I realized though, is that I need to learn to just be gracious.  I didn't expect people to bring gifts, although some did.  Instead of just saying thank you and accepting them, I kept saying "you didn't have to bring anything" or "I should have put no gifts on the invite".  Talking with James today, I worried that people felt obligated to bring something.  He didn't see it that way.  He said that our friends and family love us and are happy for us - that's why they gave us gifts.  He is 100% right.  [...did I really just put that in writing?!  I suppose it was bound to happen sometime ;-) ]


Another example of this came last night when someone complimented the food I had prepared saying he was impressed that I had really spent some time and put a lot together.  Instead of just saying "thanks, I hope you enjoy!", I almost argued saying it wasn't much trouble at all and of course I had food, it was a party.  Why is it hard to just accept people's thoughtfulness, appreciation, and compliments?  Thinking about it, I do this quite often.  I minimize the time and effort I put into things.  When people notice, I say it's no big deal.  I need to stop that and re-focus.  I need to accept people's appreciation and compliments.  Not doing so is not only minimizing the value of my time and effort, but minimizing their attention, thoughts, and time to say something nice.  It's ok to take time and accept compliments when they are given.  Especially with this year of wedding planning and then the actual day, we will be putting a lot of time and effort in and people will notice (I hope!); we will be the center of attention and I need to learn to enjoy it instead of down play it.  With the busyness and negativity in the world, it really is a special thing to have so many lovely, considerate, and appreciative people in our lives.  And it's ok to realize that I am that type of person to my family and friends too.  

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Second Guessing

Now that decisions are being made, I am second guessing them.  Not the venues:  St. Bede's Chapel and Colonial Heritage are exactly what we want - and I envisioned - for our wedding.  Other decisions, though, such as the photographer and the entertainment are not as easy.  We've booked our photographer and we really like him.  Check out his work: Gene King, Creative Worth Photography  We feel he is moderately priced and a great value for his experience and "extras" however, I am sure I could find a less experienced photographer for less.  With all the photos taken on our wedding day, wouldn't any photographer get some good shots?  It's just there are certain shots - his face when he first sees me, our first kiss, etc - that can't be missed.  When I go back through, I am happy with our choice and I've decided to stop googling more photographers - I am driving myself crazy!  


I am at this very odd point right now where it is too early to make a lot of decisions (thus allowing for time to second guess the ones we have made) but I am really anxious to get things done!  I will be dress shopping in a month or two, so then I'll feel like we're making moves!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

First Major Meltdown - CHECK!

Thursday was a huge day for us in our wedding planning - we confirmed our reception venue and put down the deposit!  So exciting....and expensive...and stressful...  My parents have given us a VERY generous budget to work with while planning our wedding.  Unfortunately, everything out here in VA is more expensive than in the midwest and the budget isn't going as far as we'd like it to.  So far, we have the church, reception, and the photographer and we're already stretching it thin.  In my mind, on Thursday, I thought "I need a few more things for the day of - a dress, entertainment, flowers, transportation - we can't be getting this close to budget this soon..."  Ok, that is the nice, summarized version of all my thoughts.  Enter stressed, frustrated, (kind of mean) Kristin...


In response to my (over)reaction, some people just said "don't worry, things will work out"  Me: "HOW?!  Money just doesn't appear!"  I appreciate the thought, but that doesn't do it to calm me down.  <insert various frustrated, impatient and sometimes rude comments here :-/ > Finally, I got to thinking about the decisions we had made.  Our reception venue is exactly what we want and it includes things like decorations and centerpieces that we can choose from and use on our day.  Our photographer's contract includes an engagement session, bridal sitting, and tons of prints - even engagement prints we could use for Save the Dates.  Potential huge savings!  Oh, and we have a year to save up.  We have known from the start that we'd need to save money to contribute for the wedding so now it's a matter of making a plan.  Both James and I are coaching this spring.  Our stipends - go to savings.  I was just hired to teach summer school - money can go to savings.  Our next year's tax returns - savings.  Those things will add up quickly!  We can do it...and that isn't even considering any changes to save money in our everyday lives.  We need to be careful with how often we go out to dinner, drinks, and travel.  We don't have a very active summer planned - only one vacation to the beach planned.  This reduced spending will add up over a full year.  It's a matter of keeping things prioritized and looking at the big picture.


Turns out my patient family and friends were right, everything will work out.  But in the moment, I needed something to back that statement up.  James and I will need to be more careful with our future decisions and realize that the extra $100 for this and $500 for that add up in the end.  Our wedding will be perfect, just how we want it, and we will not have to break the bank for it.  I am getting excited about continuing to plan and figure out new, fun, creative ways to make this day our own!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Date: DONE!

Well, it took a few emails and then some phone calls........and then another round of emails and phone calls.....but we have a WEDDING DATE!  James and I will be married at St. Bede on June 29th, 2013!  This was not one of the dates we went into this process with as an option, but we are so happy with it.  On our "first" date, the reception venue was available but the church was booked.  On our back up, the opposite was true: church available and, after a few phone calles, the reception site was not.  In speaking with the coordinator at St. Bede, they also had June 29th...so I asked the reception venue if they had it available and they DID!  James and I talked about what we had for options and made a quick decision - use the venues we love on another date.  Who knows...this date may work out better.  We're both teachers and the 29th will give us two weeks after school gets out to rest and finish details for the wedding.  With my worry and self-imposed stress, not having the end of the school year and all that brings followed immediately by the wedding is probably a very good thing.  Here's to hoping that summer doesn't come early next year and the weather in late June is beautiful!  


When it comes down to it:  the date is set and WE'RE REALLY GETTING MARRIED!